Drank a beer on the subway as I made my way back home
From a friend of a friend’s place that I didn’t really know
I felt anxious and awkward as I made small talk all night
Felt uneasy and bloated way too full of Miller Lite
Fell asleep on the train car and got off a stop too late
Grabbed my half-empty tallboy and I stumbled out the gate
And I thought in this moment, “I’ve never been more alone”
Wandering around WaHi with no friends and a dead phone
And I know when I’ve fucked up
But it’s never quite enough
And I know I’m in the wrong
And this shit’s gone on too long
Cause how come every weekend ends with puking in the shower,
And boilerplate “I’m Sorry” texts sent out the morning after?
How can I apologize then make the same mistakes?
How can I look at myself and not accept the blame?
Made a stop at the deli for a bacon egg and cheese
Dragged my ass to my building and I fumbled with the keys
In my room a bit later and for reasons still unclear
I am shaking and sobbing mucus mixing with the tears
And I know that I fucked up
And I know I’ve had enough
And I know that I am wrong
And this shit’s gone on too long
Cause how come every weekend ends with puking in the shower,
And boilerplate “I’m Sorry” texts sent out the morning after?
How can I apologize then make the same mistakes?
How can I look at myself and not accept the blame?
In the morning I’m sober; well I guess it’s 3p.m.
Check my notifications, got a message from my friend
He’s just checking to see if I’d be down to hang tonight
There’s a party at his place and I text him back
“Alright.”
UK-based Irish musician Joel Johnston creates an expansive indie-rock atmosphere on his latest album as Far Caspian. Bandcamp New & Notable Jul 14, 2023