Sincerity is wasted on the wicked And good intentions that have gone awry The purpose of the concept is subverted As it pokes and probes the raw nerves that you hide So keep your cards close to your chest at all times And never let anyone else inside And you’ll have your peace of mind

Back when I was a romantic I wanted to dance And spend every waking moment inside of your trance I wanted to hug you and kiss you and love you and squeeze you And all of those cliches that mean that I need you Or maybe just hang out and bullshit in your room all day Back when I was a romantic I had all the luck We’d sit in your bed for hours, watch Netflix and fuck And then we’d order a pizza, get wine drink and cheap beer Lay under the covers, and then we’d just stay there For hours and hours till we passed out in each other’s arms Cause the only thing I needed then was you Back when I was a romantic, I thought we could last Thought we could build a future, but lived in the past And I guess that was the problem, I did that for too long And I never grew up and you changed and moved on And I couldn’t blame you, but it doesn’t make it hurt much less Cause the only thing I really want is you… you!

Think of you again, Trigger for my deja vu, Waxing gibbous, new Meatball, meatball Spaghetti, spaghetti Ravioli, ravioli Motherfucking yes! I am, he is You are, we is She is, they is Motherfucking yes! What’s there left to say About sex, drugs and the death of rock ‘n roll?

It takes a special kind of narcissist Or miserable piece of shit To think about oneself as I do Takes a special kind of confidence Or an oversize victim complex To go through life as bitterly as I do Blah blah blah repeat yourself Blah blah blah go on and on and on and on Self pity or self love Fine line I’m hovering above

I need a drink, I think I need that fucker now Pass me a tallcan, man, and watch me gulp it down I don’t need nothing fancy I don’t care how it tastes If it’s cold and refreshing, then it won’t go to waste I don’t need to crack a cold one with the boys I’ve got beer! I don’t need nothing, I’ve got beer! I don’t need no one, I’ve got beer! I don’t need nothing, I’ve got beer! I don’t need no one, I’ve got porter, lager, amber ale Guiness stout and IPAs, I got beer! Repeat after me: We won’t need lungs when we go (don’t hold me to that) I bring a sixer and then clear then clear through three or four I’ll chug a 40 and then sip on 40 more I don’t care if I’m bloated I don’t care if I’m sick I won’t say that I’m sorry I don’t care if (you’re/I’m) pissed I don’t need to crack a cold one with the boys

Please do not ask me Why they are all laughing but no one’s told a joke I am a You are a We are a Hey hey hey Fuck your broken windows silent til the brick goes violent with your croc tears let me clear your snot nose listen to it vibrate make your pupils dilate keep on listening and you won’t violate but hey we’re fuckups and we’re used to it failure we just push through it we don’t talk we just do it victory will come to us for the future people and those deceased, until it’s justice we just won’t know peace I’m a fuckup You’re a fuckup We’re all fuckups And there’s nothing we can do 2020 doesn’t change the past Burning skies in the forecast Troubled mind in an overcast Don’t know how long I’m gonna last Homicidal thoughts to get past Wanna kill the motherfuckers that killed Trevor Wanna kill the motherfucker that killed Noah Judo lessons from Samoa Joe Never let a Kronk pull a lever More burnt bridges to endeavor More severed ties make me knotty Boss crossing boundaries make me hotter than Scotty 2 Don’t know what to do about my place Life bringing tears to my face Kanye bringing down my race It’s ironic that I call the sLUms uplifting It’s ironic that I call a DILF my older brother Savage ain’t ready but I still love her More self esteem to recover But Imma fuckup, I’m a fuckup, I’m a fuckup. Please don’t stop me.

Remember before everything got all fucked up? Remember when just holding hands was still enough? Remember when I lived to taste you on my tongue? Remember when we would both say that we’re in love?

When I dream I’m there. I made peace with Poseidon I swam back to shore When it’s cold, I’ll put The Simpsons on It feels like home, feels like I’m safe and warm When I’m alone, I’ll put The Simpsons on It feels like home, feels like I’m in your arms.

Drank a beer on the subway as I made my way back home From a friend of a friend’s place that I didn’t really know I felt anxious and awkward as I made small talk all night Felt uneasy and bloated way too full of Miller Lite Fell asleep on the train car and got off a stop too late Grabbed my half-empty tallboy and I stumbled out the gate And I thought in this moment, “I’ve never been more alone” Wandering around WaHi with no friends and a dead phone And I know when I’ve fucked up But it’s never quite enough And I know I’m in the wrong And this shit’s gone on too long Cause how come every weekend ends with puking in the shower, And boilerplate “I’m Sorry” texts sent out the morning after? How can I apologize then make the same mistakes? How can I look at myself and not accept the blame? Made a stop at the deli for a bacon egg and cheese Dragged my ass to my building and I fumbled with the keys In my room a bit later and for reasons still unclear I am shaking and sobbing mucus mixing with the tears And I know that I fucked up And I know I’ve had enough And I know that I am wrong And this shit’s gone on too long Cause how come every weekend ends with puking in the shower, And boilerplate “I’m Sorry” texts sent out the morning after? How can I apologize then make the same mistakes? How can I look at myself and not accept the blame? In the morning I’m sober; well I guess it’s 3p.m. Check my notifications, got a message from my friend He’s just checking to see if I’d be down to hang tonight There’s a party at his place and I text him back “Alright.”

I am stronger than my demons ’Cause they live inside my brain And as long as I don’t kill myself I keep them all contained

Woke up New Year’s Morning with bad breath and a headache In a hoodie that reeked of beer sweat and weed And every poor decision I’ve made And I tried to to leave the covers, ’cause getting up shouldn’t be this rough When it’s this fucking cold that shit gets in your bones And makes self preservation quite tough Well this seasonal depression hurts worse than the year-round kind Dog piss freezes to streets and I forget to eat Cause I can’t stand going outside Listen to “Blank Space” on repeat lying face-down in the dark I’ll be humming T-Swift while I’m cutting my wrists Least the sweaters will cover the marks And oh, I know, this isn’t how things should be I know they say “It’s time to turn a new leaf.” I thought New Year’s might be different, least I figured that it should Things have been bad for months but I thought just this once I could go out and maybe feel good I put poison in my body And tried to have a decent time But I still felt like shit, I got manic and sick At the countdown I started to cry And oh, I know, this isn’t how things should be I know, I know, they say “It’s time to turn a new leaf” So I’ll turn a new leaf right now Who’s looking for me? I could be somebody else. Wish I had the time. And I’ll say “New year, new me” As my mouth feels like a nightmare; I forgot to buy the toothpaste and I had to brush with water And I’ll say “New year, new me” As I buy a Subway sandwich, and the guy completes my order, it’s the same thing I got last time And I’ll say “New year, new me” As I screen calls from my mother, there’s no way I’m talking to her when I’m this fucking hungover And I’ll say “New year, new me” As I sit down at the TV and I watch reruns of “Simpsons” I could quote to you from memory And I’ll say “New year, new me” As I eat some baby Asprin, and ignore all of my deadlines ‘cause my head is fuckin pounding And I’ll say “New year, new me” As I light a cigarette, I know I said that I would quit but I’m just way too fuckin stressed And I’ll say “New year, new me” As I cancel plans to hang out, ‘cause I don’t want to put pants on and I’ve overdrawn my account And I’ll say “New year, new me” As I think about the last few and try telling myself earnestly “I’m better off without you” And I’ll say “New year, new me” But the heart’s got its desires, and I’ll never fool myself because I’m not that good a liar When I’m just…. When I’m just… When I’m just Just sweating out the whisky Just wishing you were with me Sweating out the whisky I’m sweating out the whisky, just wishing you were with me And I’ll drink myself to death May old acquaintance be forgot, and never brought to mind May old acquaintance be forgot...and auld lang syne Who’s looking for me? I could be somebody else. Wish I had the time.

Let’s you and I just stay up late Pretend it’s 1998 Lay out together on the floor And play Nintendo 64 It seems like just the thing we need To ignore responsibilities I know that we’ve got things to do But I wanna waste my time with you. Rain comes down on city roofs and I keep going back to the same old conversations, perfect trigger for my deja vu and I keep going back to yesterday’s mistakes perfect trigger for my déjà vu. I’m sure I’ve said it all before yesterday’s mistakes. I’ve been screaming in my dreams, I’m sure I’ve said it all before, like phases of the moon. I’ve been screaming in my dreams the same old conversations, like phases of the moon, rain comes down on city roofs.

Try to cut back on the coffee Try not to act quite so crazy you know Try to not come off as needy Stay up late just watching TV alone // So many songs have been written By so many people in love Articulating the intangible in a melody they can hum But I used to write about heartache, Depression and anxiety I figured that playing guitar in a band was Way better than therapy But I loved a girl who smokes like a chimney I loved a twink who looked just like Orson Welles I’ve been in love for all the wrong reasons But I’m learning to love myself I loved a girl who wrote kinky fanfic I loved a girl obsessed with Tinker Bell I know that it’s not always easy But I’m learning to love myself I love a girl who smokes like a chimney I loved a twink who looked just like Orson Welles I know that it’s not always easy But I’m learning to love myself, yeah. Nothing ever ends Trigger for my deja vu, Waxing gibbous, new